How did that happen?
This morning I woke up a 25 year old woman. I know everyone says it but it honestly feels like only yesterday that I turned 18 & now here I am, 7 years later, writing this post.
I always wondered how I’d feel when I turned 25 (also known as, half way to 50) as i’ve always thought that when you turn this age, you’re officially an adult. By this age I feel like your independence truly begins, you’re on your own, making your own money, you’ve (maybe) flown the nest & you have to I think, really start thinking about ‘the future’. Only a few days ago Kristian & I were speaking about our pensions & mortgages & children & I just thought to myself “Wow, it’s really happened. I’ve grown up.”
Now, looking back when I was around 18 to 20, where I thought i’d be in my life right now is really quite a little bit different from where I actually am. In a nutshell, I thought i’d be (hopefully) working in a show on the West End, renting a room by myself in London, maybe teaching dance classes here & there, living the single life because let’s not kid ourselves, it is the 21st century & in London it seems people are too busy carving out careers for themselves & don’t have much time for anything else. So in a nutshell, that’s where I thought i’d be.
Fast forward to today, & I believe i’m now quite happy it didn’t work out how I had once hoped or though. It hasn't by any means been smooth sailing. I haven’t had it easy but because of this i’ve grown a thicker skin. I’ve learnt to not let things get to me & to rise above situations. I’ve learnt when to speak & when to be quiet. I’ve learnt how to be independent, how to look after myself properly (through trial & error may I add) & i’ve learnt how to say no, & that you don’t have to please everyone. We only have one life, so we have to do what we want to do. If your idea of fun is getting up early for a workout class then breakfast with friends rather than a night out at the club before stumbling back in at 5am, that’s fine. Vice versa too. You just have to do what you want.
I’m also no longer, living on land, i’m living out at sea for the second time, performing onboard Royal Caribbean cruises in a musical i’d always dreamed of being in. I’m getting paid triple the amount I would be in London & the only outgoings & I have is my phone bill & apps I pay for. I get to live a life of (almost) luxury where everything is paid for me. I don't have to pay for food unless I decide to get off whilst we’re in port, I have no rent to pay, travel to pay, or gym membership to pay. This is all provided for me, which of course has helped me heaps in the savings department.
And i’m also getting to see so much more of the world than I would have living in London, & i’ve probably seen more than most 50 year olds have in their whole life. Alaska, Norway, all around the Mediterranean, the Caribbean, & these are just to say a few. I have so many stories to tell & to hopefully fascinate my children & grandchildren with in years to come that I wouldn’t necessarily have had tot ell if i’d stayed in the UK.
In this day & age, especially living in London, being able to afford your rent is hard enough, never mind actually being able to afford to buy your own place. But luckily, myself & Kristian are in a position where we’ve been able to save & we’ve been able to buy our own apartment. In London, at ages 25/26. I still can’t quite believe it. A dream of mine has always been to have a big ‘family home’ as I like to call it with a big garden, a laundry room, a gym downstairs in the basement, my own dressing room, a two sink bathroom, and the fact that come next year Kristian & I will have officially made our mark on the property ladder fills me with so much excitement because that means we’re one step closer to getting that beautiful house to carry on building our lives together & to hopefully start a family in.
And then this moves me onto my love life, I still can’t quite believe that i’ve found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with (even though he does drive me up the wall sometimes) & in just over 2 years time we’ll be standing up in front of our families & friends to say ‘I do’ in one of the most beautiful venues i’ve ever seen brings me so much happiness & comfort knowing that if all else fails me, I will have Kristian, my safety blanket as I like to call him, by my side. And to know, at 25 years old, that we have the next 25 years & more to irritate each other, makes me a very happy lady. My Mum always used to say to me ‘You’ll know when it’s right’ & before Kristian came along I there were one or two occasions where i’ve thought i’d found it, but when he came along, it was like i’d had all the air taken out of me, & that was when I knew what my Mum always had meant.
But the biggest accomplishment for me really, is that I’ve really learnt to love myself for who I am & i’ve learnt exactly how to look after myself both inside & out. With being only 5 foot tall, especially in the performing industry, it’s very easy to get yourself down & it did used to effect me. I acted like it didn’t but deep down it really did. But now, being the wise old age of 25, i’ve leant to change my thoughts into positive ones. Yes I may not be able to be in some shows, but the shows i’m perfect for are all the fun loving type shows where I can act like a teenager & can probably act like one for the next 5 years. I’ll always get put at the front of the triangle because i’ll always be the shortest (& get all the cutest costumes). I used to always feel like I had bigger arms & legs than the rest of my friends. Even though I was the smallest, i’m quite athletically built so always felt embarrassed about how my legs & shoulders looked but now, i’m so proud of the body I have & I now work hard because I one, love working out at the gym, it makes me feel strong & healthy, but I now also like the fact that I have strong muscles. When i’m carrying all my food shopping from the car to the house, unlike some people, I can carry them all in one go because I keep my body fit & strong. And two, this is how I am & there is not one other person in the world who is like me so I want to embrace it to the best I can.
And carrying on from this, I used to work out because it helped me ‘look good’ I will admit that. But over the years, i’ve learnt how to keep my insides just as healthy. Fuelling my body with the right foods, the right supplements. Knowing that a good nights sleep does you the world of good & you need your ‘beauty sleep’ as they say to keep yourself looking healthy. And that you don't have to kill yourself everytime you go to the gym & the goal isn't just ‘to have a six pack’. That yoga works just as good, if not better, than any amount of crunches that you do. All of this I have learnt over the past few years & i’m so thankful that I now have this mind set.
To describe how I feel now i’ve hit the big 2 5, is that I feel settled, healthy & motivated for what’s to come.
Thank you so much for reading & if you’re turning 25, let me know the three things that you feel being where you are in your life now.
Have a wonderful day.